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Literature Text
Someday when I'm somewhere I want to be a someone, a Somebody. But right now my Somewhere is in the middle of nowhere, Saskatchewan, Canada. A nowhere I did not capitalize.
My somewhere is a field of wheat, or was it barley? Some farm girl I make. I had just run away, the grain so high everyone pranced like idiots, from a group of three. I ran away with a smile on my face to disappear. I felt so mischievous.
In my somewhere it's the middle of the night, a night a little too bright because the moon is big and fully round. So bright we could not see some of the stars. I ran in green sandal wedges, leaving a faint trail of stalks I had fallen. I felt so strange as I ran. Then I myself fell. And giggled. I felt so happy and empty. But he found me.
Yes, "He" found me. And we felt so alone, so alone with walls around us and stars above. Where not even the wind reached us. I could see his face fine, and the look on his face. Oh, the look he had. Like we both knew what just happened. He fell to me and smiled, we kissed and held on to each other in the silence.
My Somewhere is in a field of wheat, or was it barley? in the middle of a field, on the outskirts of nowhere.
My somewhere is a field of wheat, or was it barley? Some farm girl I make. I had just run away, the grain so high everyone pranced like idiots, from a group of three. I ran away with a smile on my face to disappear. I felt so mischievous.
In my somewhere it's the middle of the night, a night a little too bright because the moon is big and fully round. So bright we could not see some of the stars. I ran in green sandal wedges, leaving a faint trail of stalks I had fallen. I felt so strange as I ran. Then I myself fell. And giggled. I felt so happy and empty. But he found me.
Yes, "He" found me. And we felt so alone, so alone with walls around us and stars above. Where not even the wind reached us. I could see his face fine, and the look on his face. Oh, the look he had. Like we both knew what just happened. He fell to me and smiled, we kissed and held on to each other in the silence.
My Somewhere is in a field of wheat, or was it barley? in the middle of a field, on the outskirts of nowhere.
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This did happen, and it is now my happy place.
Thank you for reading!!
Have I captured you?
How does this make you feel, as an outsider??
Does it work in past tense? Or should I switch it to present?
Who would have guessed, Emotional as a category? haha
Thank you for reading!! Have I captured you?
How does this make you feel, as an outsider??
Does it work in past tense? Or should I switch it to present?
Who would have guessed, Emotional as a category? haha
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Comments22
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Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactMy favourite part is the first paragraph. The combination of somedays, someones, and somewheres is intriguing, and although at first a little confusing, is easy to sink into.
In the second paragraph, I'm not sure who you mean by "everyone", those searching for you? Or the wheat-stalks themselves?
There is quite a consistent flow of themes and ideas throughout, but there is a disparity between the first and last paragraphs - in the first you say "in the middle of nowhere", but in the last you say "on the outskirts of nowhere". Just a small detail I'd like to point out, although you might want to leave it just as it is for effect.
The non-specific noun usage makes this description one that would resonate with many people, and that in itself makes this piece all the more beautiful.